Saturday, June 12, 2010

In Conclusion

Well, this is it. I finally quit Chronos. Seems they kicked Viggy, too, which is a biiig part of why I am leaving. He's a really nice guy. To bad Guyver is so selfish he fails to realize how much we've done for the Coalition. I build bases for him. Viggy gets millions of prestiege and farms people. We both make jokes on vent, do mishes to help, badgehunt with lowbies and people needing accolades. He did literally nothing wrong in my eyes. I don't understand the politics of groups in this game. I honestly think WAR was easier to understand. The people there followed patterns, more so then in here. I am a people person, but not in the way anyone understands. I play online games to dominate people in my minds. I guess I'm crazy, I think I might be insane, but I honestly don't think it makes a difference. I play to play with people. In real life, I don't have any leverage. In online worlds, I can make some.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation.

I think maybe I should quit CoH altogether. I downloaded the Worl of Warcraft 30 day trial, maybe I can make some peons.....

More so then in Paragon City or the Rouge Isles.

I miss The Mystic Defenders. My god, what a fun SG. I had people to obey me, back then. Man....


Sigh. It seems nowadays my age gets ahead of me. No one takes me seriously. I am 14, yes, but do I act like one? Do I talk like one? I am mature, more so then anyone I've met my age. I feel so oppressed, like I can't find myself in my characters anymore. I base them off of what I wish I was.

I wish I had superpowers. I want to be super. I want to be happy, I want to do things I can't do in real life. I want to be someone, something, not just the background. I feel so alone... There are so many things I want to do before my mind becomes totally blank.....

I want to meet the Joker. He is my idol, more so then Kor. The perfect example of who I'd like to be. No remorse. No powers. Just what I want to do.

I feel insane. I probobly am insane.

I don't know what to do.........

~Rien

1 comment:

Hams said...

we all have days when we feel totally overwhelmed like that. Just know your not on your own and that although things are a little rough they will get better. Sorry if it sounds a bit patronising but i promise it's true. I used to feel that same way and im only just starting to realise that i don't need super powers or loads of money to change the world. It can be done just by being yourself and giving yourself a bit of credit once in a while.

not sure if any of that will help but i hope it does.